You have to live in Pennsylvania for several decades before you can pronounce any of the cities Come see me September 12 in Phoenix and October 3 in Rochester, NY, both cities I can pronounce just fine. #comedy #fyp #pennsylvania #funny

Sorry, mom. Come see me on the road! 🎟️ on my website September 12 - Phoenix, AZ October 3 - Rochester, NY #comedy #baby #dad #newdad #mom

Somehow it wasn’t me… Upcoming shows! Aug. 22 - Naples, FL Aug. 23 - Daytona Beach, FL Aug. 24 - Orlando, FL Aug. 25 - Boca Raton, FL Sept. 12 - Phoenix, AZ Oct. 3 - Rochester, NY Tix available now from my website in bio #comedy #fyp

This is Amanda and Carol. They come to practically all of my Indiana shows, which is already cool enough. But just look at these shirts they made. LOOK AT THEM. I have the coolest fans.

They can’t be trusted

I was sent one of the coolest gifts I’ve ever received. Check this out! Thanks again to @dripsycards for this ridiculously awesome gift.

Next Sunday in Kansas City! One night only! Let’s do this. Bring me BBQ or condolences from watching the Cubs get beaten by the Royals the night before. Side note, I’m also wildly proud that I figured out how to edit in text on this, to give you a clue how bad my editing skills are. #comedy #kansascity #royals #cubs #standup #fyp

I’ll chase as many damn waterfalls as I want.